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Well, it's been a slow progression toward writing again. I have a lot of ideas for some nerdy fan fiction, the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series (stopped reading after Obsidian Butterfly because I feel it went to poop after that). I am a die-hard Anita / Edward fan

I miss being social, haha. It's lame that I'm so introverted. It's not healthy and it makes people so very angry with me. Serves me right. But will I change?

Been thinking about a lot of things lately. Mainly about how badly I need a damn job right now. Definitely hurting in that area right now. Put in so many applications to all sorts of places, kept on their asses a week later to see if they'd even looked at my application, got the run-around. So it's back to applying to more places again to start the cycle over.

I'm kind of scared that I'm not going back to school in the fall. I feel free but bound. It's a strange feeling. It's kind of exciting but not really, since I don't have any money to do anything with. I need to move out of my parents' house, I want to move in with Jeffrey. It's about time for that, really. We both deserve that. We both need it.

I am feeling envious of all the couples that are living together! Yeah, it makes me wishful. Makes me feel sad, too.

We are both hard workers, we will get there sometime. Our time hasn't come yet. But, it will. Yes, this is me reassuring myself. It's my mantra in a way.

Jeff and I walked in the part for 45 minutes today and we both got sunburn on our shoulders and the tops of our backs, lol. He got it worse than I did. I feel bad for him. Mine doesn't hurt much (yet?) and it looks worse than it feels. It isn't even that warm to the touch. His seems very red. He is almost as fair-skinned as I am but he tans well.

I keep trying to think about all the things I take for granted about him. The list is huge because it's basically everything. He is such a beautiful person. Very attractive inside and out *sighs* I miss him something terrible. It's very hard to see him only on the weekends.

I stared into his eyes a lot this weekend. God, they are SO amazing to look into. *feels faint* They're green-blue and so bright they make me feel like I'm in the sea. That is the kind of drowning I pray for *smirks*. Yeah, love makes me cheesy.

This is long because I feel chatty. Feeling really guilty about not posting more. The last thing I posted was pretty personal. Maybe too personal. Had to get it out though.

Maybe I need to write right now. Man, I still see his eyes when I close mine. It's amazing.

Yeah, I need to write. Hopefully it will be post-worthy



Thanks for bothering to read my journal.
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